When he says we are dating
It can be so fun, so exciting, so romantic—and yet so utterly confusing.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been in one too many situations where I wished I could just get inside a guy’s head.
Because, Taylor, you’ve been linked to all of those dudes since 2010. I’m not her biggest fan, but I’m not trying to slut-shame her here.
Hold on a sec: please don’t jump down my throat because you think I’m making fun of Taylor for the amount of guys she’s dated – I’m not. There’s nothing wrong with a girl who dates around.
One of the biggest challenges we hear from our clients from their past relationship patterns is having communication issues and misinterpretations when dating. It translates to I like things the way they are and I am not looking to add or change anything.
It happens so often that we devoted an entire section of our book, , to this very topic. He could be very comfortable with who he is and the way he’s done things over the years and he’s not planning on making any adjustments.
This means exactly what he said, he has “female friends” in rotation and most often some romantically.
We’ve taken the top 11 occurrences to help you decode what he’s REALLY saying to you. "I promise" (Only he doesn't come through) - If he consistently promises to do things, then doesn’t show up or call, put more stock in his actions instead of the excuse.More often than not, dating opens women up to a world of confusion that too often ends in hurt. He may also want to have life experiences or work on himself first before he gets into a serious relationship.”The second time I heard a man say he couldn’t be a boyfriend, I was actually relieved.Your typical meet-cute begins with an ambiguous “hangout,” and as time goes by, it becomes increasingly unclear whether you and your guy are just really close friends or taking things slow. Timing plays more of a role than not being ‘good enough’ for a guy. Burned by my last experience, I saw it as a warning and promptly cut off the flirtation with no wounded pride. If you find yourself or a friend in this confusing Neverland of a dating situation, learn from my mistakes.They, too, have been in relationships (I’m talking boyfriend–girlfriend official status) that ended because he told her he wasn’t ready. He cared for her very much but couldn’t match her feelings. And so many girls I know have been dumped because their boyfriend wasn’t ready. There does come a time when a guy needs to get on the same page or else end things, but before you require that of him, be sure to ask yourself the hard question, “Do I love him as he is, with the emotional pace he brings, or do I really just want him to fit in to my romantic timeline because it’s what I want right now? Regardless if it’s him or if it’s you, if your guy is making no effort to get on the same page as you, don’t hang around.” I think both men and women can get caught up in the expected timeline rather than focusing on what is right for the relationship. In fact, I got caught up in that during my first serious relationship—thinking I was really ready to take next steps with my then-boyfriend by embarking on a cross-country relationship with him, even though he made it clear he wasn’t ready for that. But what about men who decide they’re just not “at the same level” as you and don’t seem to have a plan for getting on the same level? Paul: Ah, well now we are getting to “unreadiness” reason number two: “I’m just not that into you, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” If it feels as though the guy you are dating is not taking initiative to move the relationship forward, and he offers “I’m not ready” as an explanation, then he either does not want to be in a relationship or is not sure if he does. Telling a woman you are just not into it is hard, and some guys like to chalk it up to unreadiness to make it easier on you . If a man wants to be emotionally and physically intimate, he needs to be ready to handle the commitment that comes with that. I think the most encouraging thing for a woman to do is to give him space.
Search for when he says we are dating:
Odds are, neither party knows exactly what’s going on. He may still want to see what his options are, or he wants to focus on his career. By looking out for yourself now, you might avoid a lot of hurt.